Weddings are displays of love, representing togetherness and fun. Or at least they're supposed to be. And the guests are there to celebrate the bride and groom. Well, that's a "supposed to be," too. People on Reddit recounted the stories of the worst speeches they'd ever heard at weddings, and hoo boy, talk about putting a damper on a ceremony.
1. This mother of the groom was clearly wishing for a different bride. (via dontFart_InSpaceSuit)
Mother of the groom called the wife 'Elizabeth' in her speech. Elizabeth wasn't her name. Elizabeth was the name of the groom's best friend who happened to be an attractive woman. more attractive than the wife. Elizabeth is who the mother wanted her son to marry. Elizabeth was there, too.
2. The best man was trapped in the past. (via Badwolf97)
The only thing the best man said was “Well, we’re all here today for one reason, a good woman died. May she Rest In Peace.” About the grooms late (first) wife, who passed away over 10 years ago.
3. This best man used his speech for something else altogether. (via MiloMolly)
The best man getting drunk and asking his current wife for a divorce into the microphone because “she just wont fucking leave me unless i make a big deal of it”
4. Planning a wedding? Maybe rethink that open bar. (via SausageDeliveryBoy)
Best man waddles up to podium, visibly too drunk. He opens up his folder with his speech in it. Opens his mouth to say his first words and projectile vomits directly over the podium. He says into the mic, "Whoops that's not what I meant to say." Groomsmen drag him off and away.
5. It's the thought that counts. (via Sharkbyte12)
I got extremely smashed for my cousins wedding. When the guys came around with the camera, they filmed me and asked if I had anything to say to the bride or groom.
Well, my drunk ass starts going on about "I can't believe how much you've grown, I remember watching you grow up, and I'm so happy for you."
My cousin is 8 years older than me.
6. Holy moly, poor Jackie! (via rooostur)
Best man speech: "Back in high school when Bill first told me he liked Jackie I said Jackie!? Ewww! But that's how I knew Bill really liked her for who she was as a person ." ....Jackie was not very attractive
7. Groom's grandfather got right to the dang point. It could have been worse. (via Lemonlyric)
I was at a wedding where the grooms grandfather gave a speech. He stepped up to the mic and said, "(Groom), I hope you made the right choice." Then just walked off. Old people waste no time speaking their feelings. Everyone cracked up. The Bride was cool about it.
8. We bet the bride didn't feel too great about it, either. (via heyybeth)
I was part of the catering crew at a wedding. The ceremony was on the beach and the reception was in the resort. When the bride and groom came in the entire wait staff kind of dropped their jaws because these kids couldn’t have been more than like 18-20 years old. Everyone was super young. When the father of the bride made his speech he went on and on about how his daughter always gets what she wants. She had this wedding at the beach and they were going to have a second wedding back home in Texas. Then he goes on to describe every extracurricular activity she ever did and quit. “Cheerleader for 6 months, then she took up dancing for a few weeks. She got really into sewing for a while but quit when she joined Girl Scouts, which she left to chase her dream of being a dog walker...”
Basically his whole speech was calling her a spoiled brat who doesn’t stick with anything. So the groom probably felt awesome about that.
9. Nothing wrong with a little school spirit. (via Ajiatrow)
I wasn't there to see it, but a buddy of mine told me about a bad one he witnessed his cousin give. Basically, best man got all flustered/froze up, didn't know what to say, etc., and he ended up congratulating my friend (who was not the groom, mind you) on being accepted into the University of Michigan.
10. Ummm.... (via scardboy)
Was at a friends wedding, one of my friends stands up to make a speech and it was pretty good until the last sentence when he said "who knows this could've been my wedding if I didn't mess things up with her" everyone was silent
11. Smooth move, person who made that speech. Great job. (via Petronella23)
"Well this wedding was nice and all, but I'm sure all the married couples here know it's not a real marriage until you start having children!"
The bride was infertile.
12. DID NOT SEE THAT COMING. (via Meg811)
Grooms vows: “I love that you let me stick my finger up your butt while you’re sleeping...”
The whole audience went still, and there was a very uncomfortable silence followed by a few unsure chuckles. The look she gave him was terrifying. And the pastor performing the ceremony didn’t seem to know how to react.
Overall it was extremely awkward
13. Creeeeeeeepy. (via loud_morning_farter)
My dad made a speech at my brother’s wedding saying that if my brother didn’t get to her first he would have married her. It was so awkward and so inappropriate.
14. Read the room, best man at cousin Paul's wedding! (via LadyOfAvalon83)
Best man at my cousin Paul's wedding. He gave a speech about how the bride, Julia, used to love horse-riding, but after she started dating Paul she was no longer interested in horse riding. The best man said, "Women just need something big and masculine between their legs." Cue a load of shocked speechless grandparents.
15. A whole year? That's so nice of him... (via Notrightnowplease_)
My husband and I went to get married at City Hall and accidentally walked into the place that handles divorce and annulments. An employee pointed it out to us and my husband said "Okay, we'll be back here next year then."