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Forget the 50s, the "good old days" in America were four minutes long, shot entirely in soft focus, and featured an assortment of amazing combos that represented our freedom and choice as citizens.

Here it is, Internet: the high water mark of American culture, preserved in digital glory. Here is where the flood of freedom Georgie Washington, Tommy Jefferson, and Al Hammyton unleashed on the world hit its peak before receding into the swamp of repression, recession, and reality television. These four minutes of mouthwatering steak, succulent shrimp, and Vaseline-drenched Americana are, simply put, what destroyed the Soviet Union.

Who can forget the day Sizzlers ads first reached East Germany, causing disillusioned former commies to grab their sledgehammers and beat a path straight to the door of unlimited buffets and democracy?

Sources: Esquire | Rachel Redhouse