The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing
the world that he had an enormous schlong.
Nobody knows the identity of the rogue artist who erected a bright red, fully nude statue of Satan upon an empty pedestal in Vancouver, Canada two nights ago. This may shock many of the God-fearing people out there, but I believe it was Beelzebub himself. Now, before you dismiss my theory out of hand, hear me out.
The statue appeared along the highly trafficked Grandview Highway in the city's Grandview-Woodlands neighborhood, where it could be seen by literally thousands of commuters before the city stepped in to tear it down. If you were going to place a naked image of yourself in such a public place, wouldn't you be a little more generous with the proportions of your equipment? As you'll see in this video, nobody—not even supernatural conduits of pure evil—is packing like this: