"This thing is inside my stomach?! Get it out! Get it out!!!"
Hey, I get it. You're extremely excited to meet the little human being who's currently growing inside your (or your partner's) womb. But since that's still a couple months off, maybe you can settle for the next best thing: a grotesque mummified statuette of your gestating fetus!
Unfortunately, 3D Babies—the company which promises to "use your 3D/4D ultrasound or newborn baby pictures to create a custom baby figurine using a 3D printer"—only managed to get IndieGogo users to donate $1,225 of the $15,000 they need to get their business off the ground. I can't imagine why! They're offering an array of skin tones so that your baby can look as realistically death-like as possible. And you get to choose from a number of sizes, depending upon how close you suspect your friends and family will be willing to get to it:
"Hmmmm... I can't decide between the bookend and the keychain versions."
The company says its "ultimate goal is to bring a smile to the faces of parents, grandparents, and other family members," and I guess I can kinda see what they're going for, because if I suggested shelling out $600 for one of these to my pregnant wife, I don't think she'd ever stop laughing. I doubt think they meant it that way, though.
"Oh! I always wondered what my unborn child would look like in a miniature coffin."
For what it's worth, this is how they seem to think your 3D baby should be displayed. I, however, strongly suggest submerging it in a mason jar of formaldehyde and leaving it behind some boxes in the basement for your child to accidentally stumble upon when he or she is five years old.
But I'm old fashioned.
(by Dennis DiClaudio)