My name is Nathan, and I'm bad at love.
So I'm turning to the 11th season of The Bachelorette for help. Week 2 of dating is all about separating yourself from the competition. My date, just like Kaitlyn, still has several men to choose from, and it's up to me to stand out and move on to week 3. Here is what I learned from last night's episode to make that happen:
1. Don't pay more attention to other women during the date.
Most men on the first group date tried to get as much time with Kaitlyn as possible. Kupah is not most men. He thought impressing boxing champion Laila Ali with his work ethic would be the quickest way to Kaitlyn's heart. I'll admit I was surprised when this forward-thinking strategy did not work. It turns out if you don't acknowledge the woman you are dating she might forget you are on a date in the first place. Good to know.
2. Do knock out the competition (or get literally knocked out).
Ben Z. isn't able to use JJ's never-fail tactic of “be a dad" to win group date roses, so he was forced to use a new approach: knock everyone else out. Nothing says lifetime partner like sending someone to the hospital. Give that guy a rose! Unfortunately I don't have the physical ability to do this, but luckily for me Ben Z. wasn't the only winner here. Jared also won favor with Kaitlyn by getting beaten so badly it required medical treatment. I can handle a quick trip to the doctor in the name of love.
3. Don't play nice with her other suitors.
JJ was not willing to go with the majority decision to allow everyone equal time with Kaitlyn during the cocktail party. It doesn't matter if every guy in the house and every person watching at home hate you. This is about showing Kaitlyn that you are there to win her love and only her love. JJ is the new front-runner because he is willing to be a jerk. That's my kind of role model. I also took note that in week 2 of dating it is a positive to start using the term “future husband." Thank you JJ!
4. Don't use bad similes to impress her. Or anyone. Ever.
5. Do speak quietly when you're being a dick.
The biggest takeaway this week was when Kupah reminded the world that if you are going to be a jerk when talking about your date to a group of other men it might be a good idea to not talk so loudly that she can hear you from the next room. This error in judgment was enough for Kaitlyn to send him packing before the Rose Ceremony. Lesson learned: be very loud when being nice and keep your voice down when being an asshole.