My name is Nathan, and I'm bad at love.
So I'm turning to the 11th season of The Bachelorette for help. Nine of the previous ten seasons have ended with an engagement. Every week, I will follow the dos and don'ts I gathered from each episode during my own dates, and there is a 90% chance that I, too, will be engaged by the end of summer.
In part one of last night's season premiere, 25 guys voted for their choice of Bachelorette between Britt and Kaitlyn. While this new format was a big change for the series I was still able to take away some tips:
1. Don't get drunk before the first date starts.
Oh Ryan M. When you found that open bar, you found your special someone. When you told everyone you were 'horned up,' you were really putting yourself out there. But when you put your hands on Kaitlyn, you were escorted off the show. I can't believe your strategy didn't work out. Note to self: two drink max.
2. Do bring your date an intensely personal gift.
Shawn B. earned an “almost love at first sight” proclamation from Kaitlyn with a picture drawn by his nephew. Who knew that giving a crayon drawing of a woman you have never met before would be the best first step towards a lifetime of love? They should change his occupation to “Personal Trainer/Genius.” It's time for my three nieces to get to work and win me some hearts.
3. Do prepare questions to fake being thoughtful and interested.
While some of the guys went straight to discussing Britt and Kaitlyn's physical appearance or made fun of their time on last season's Bachelor, a select few took a big risk by asking the Bachelorettes actual questions about their lives. Like when Ben H. gambled by asking Kaitlyn about the meaning behind her tattoos, something last season's Bachelor Chris Soules never dared to do. It turns out she really appreciated the question. Whoa! Game changer! I already wrote this one down as a must remember. Great tip!
4. Don't have the occupation “Amateur Sex Coach.”
Nope. Just don't.
5. Do constantly talk about your end goal of marriage on the first date.
Every person competing to win the heart of the Bachelorette is clearly only doing so for love. It's definitely not about being famous, or enhancing a career, or winning a role as the next Bachelor. The only way to make this known is to constantly say that you are there for the right reasons. Thanks to the alarm on my phone I will not let 30 minutes of my date go by without mentioning that I am there for the right reasons.
We are off to an amazing start to this beautiful journey of finding love. I can sense my luck turning around already.