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When a girl calls your carphone thinking you're Burger King, Ben Affleck knows the correct response is "Yes, I am" and not "Who the fuck calls Burger King to place an order?"

In 1989, Ben Affleck starred in a Burger King commercial. That's all fine and good; several now-famous actors have started in commercials. But there are a whole bunch of things about this particular commercial that we need to discuss:

  1. The woman's voice when she calls Ben's car phone, thinking it's Burger King.
    Why is she so sex-breathy? Is she turned on by salad? Does she think that "chef salad" is a euphemism for "large dong"?
  2. Why is Ben Affleck willing to deliver this salad?
    Is he so desperately lonely that he'll pick up food for any wrong-number caller with a lady voice?
  3. Is there any chance that Ben maybe put a bag of dogshit on her stoop, not Burger King?
    Because that would be pretty great.
  4. Is Ben's dad calling to tell Ben that he has cancer?
    I know the implication is supposed to be that young Benward is breaking the rules, so dad's calling to check in. But Ben's "Dad?" is said with the same breathless urgency you'd use when someone is calling you with test results.
  5. What rules is Burger King itself breaking?
    Burger King, I agree that the slogan "Sometimes you've gotta break the rules" sounds cool. But what does that mean? What rules did you ever break? Were they food safety rules? Was Burger King using a commercial to subtly tell us that in 1989, Burger King's employees were spitting on every burger?
Sources: h/t People