3 teas to biohack your period into being less annoying and painful.

3 teas to biohack your period into being less annoying and painful.
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If you’re a menstruating person, you might, like me, be constantly scheming to figure out how to make your period shorter and less painful.

If you’re also like me, you’ve spent some hours obsessively Googling “period teas:” teas that contain certain herbs that claim to make your time of the month less painful and annoying. Here's the lowdown on what kinds of teas are out there, and more importantly, which ones don’t taste like burnt sticks.

Some important disclaimers before you add a period tea into your regimen: if you’re on medication for any reason, PLEASE consult your doctor. Also, your mileage may vary with these teas. Everyone’s body is different and special — or at least that's what I heard on Barney as a kid. If your periods are particularly painful or come with added symptoms, you may want to get tested for Polycystic Ovary Syndrome or Endometriosis. (Boy, reproductive systems are so much fun!)

Yogi Tea “Woman’s Moon Cycle” Tea
The tile of this tea made me feel like Gwyneth Paltrow was gonna sell me tampons made of rose quartz crystals. It contains a “proprietary blend of herbs” that includes raspberry leaf, anise seed, and something called chaste berry. While Yogi Tea is often known for its inspirational sayings on the tea bags that always make you feel slightly threatened, another thing I always find with Yogi tea is that there’s this unnatural, almost Splenda-like sweetness. It doesn’t taste like sugar, but that flavor profile always ruins Yogi tea for me. I couldn’t stomach this tea enough to see if it helped me, so like my girl Ariana Grande says, "Thank u, next!"

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Traditional Medicinals “Healthy Cycle” Tea
Don’t you just love a good euphemism with your morning cuppa? I laughed at the product description: healthy, feminine, and empowering. (Sounds like a women-only Soulcycle class, not a tea that I overpaid for at my local natural food store.) I swear by Traditional Medicinals’ Throat Coat for any illness, so I was excited to try this. It contains raspberry leaf and stinging nettle. I’m not sure if it’s the medicinal looking packaging, the high price, or the placebo effect that made this tea feel like it was the most effective one I tried. I can’t say whether my period felt any shorter, but I didn’t notice any cramps.

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Ahmad’s Raspberry Indulgence Black Tea
Raspberry Leaf Tea is supposed to keep your cramps at bay. Don't forget the “leaf” part of the tea title, and buy regular raspberry tea. Whoops.

Unfortunately, I can’t say that any of these teas were a magic bullet for my period. It lasted 5 days and it still sucked! But a warm cup of tea makes everything more bearable and less annoying, so why not? If you’re interested in biohacking your time of the month, try a period tea the next time you’re in the beverage aisle.

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