Possible new directions for the Westboro Baptist Church.

Possible new directions for the Westboro Baptist Church.
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by Dan Abromowitz

Update: It is being reported that Fred Phelps has died.

Posted 3/19/14: With its founder and longtime leader Fred Phelps reportedly near death, the Westboro Baptist Church faces the critical decision of whether to stay the course or turn its national notoriety and love of signage towards some other end. Here are some ways the church could reinvent itself going forward.

Professional Greeters

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Entourage

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Break Into Late-Night

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First Manned Mars Crew

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Matadors

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Medical Assistance

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Yogurt Snobs

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Tutoring

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Airport Valets

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Dan Abromowitz doesn't know how to do anything. Follow him on Twitter.

Designed by Cole Mitchell

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