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Learning to love yourself is exhausting! Let's all do this instead. (Stock photo)

Millions of Americans on the verge of going to the gym today were relieved to discover that the FDA has just approved use of a magical drug that will dissolve their fat for them.

The drug, deoxycholic acid, is injected directly into the fat, where it magics it away over the next several weeks. It requires no special equipment, and using it has "little to no risk," a plastic surgeon told CBS News.