This is what happens if you don't shut your pie hole. (Via Getty Images)
A couple days ago redditor thr111 needed to get something off his chest, so he took to the "offmychest" section of reddit and proceeded to tell the most true story anyone has ever told on the Internet about how he was so fed up with a screaming, whiny kid in line at Burger King that he bought all the pies the restaurant had so the kid couldn't have any.
The hero? Our hungry narrator in line at Burger King. For his privacy's sake, he did not post any pictures, but based on all the evidence of the story, it is safe to assume he looks like this:
And our villains? A terrible mom and her screaming kid, also in line. Again, no pictures, but they definitely look like this:
There, that should set the stage.
And now, the completely true facts, as told by an anonymous man hiding behind a screen name:
So a while ago I had decided to treat myself and go to Burger King. I hadn't had the greatest of days and I had a headache coming on. It was a very long line and I was at the end of it waiting patiently. When behind me comes this woman yapping on her cellphone with a little monster of a child. This kid was out of control, screaming, punching his mother throwing around a gameboy whenever something didn't go right in the game. The mother didn't seem to pay any attention to him and his continued yelling of 'I want a Fucking PIE'. After about 5 minutes of the line with these people behind me, I had gone from a headache to a full on migraine, but nothing was going to stop me from getting those burgers. I calmly turn and ask her nicely if she can please calm or quiet her child down. Immediately she gets up in my face telling me I can't tell her nothing about raising her child and to mind my own business. I nod and turn around, shes still yelling at the back of my head when the child cries out again how he wants a pie, the mother consoles him, calling him sweety and ensuring they'll get pies for lunch because she loves him so much.
What a terrible mom and child! I hope they never get any pie...
I then decide to ruin their day. I order every pie they have left in addition to my burgers. Turned out to be 23 pies in total, I take my order and walk towards the exit. Moments later I hear the woman yelling, what do you mean you don't have any pies left, who bought them all? I turn around and see the cashier pointing me out with the woman shooting me a death glare. I stand there and pull out a pie and slowly start eating eat as I stare back at her. She starts running towards me but can't get to me because of other lineups in the food court. I turn and slowly walk away.
Wow. It is a tale of triumph, although, we get the sense that thr111 has some remorse, as he titled his story "Am I a bad person for this?"
No, screen name thr111, you can never be a bad person when you are sharing your truth.
(by Myka Fox)