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LG: Phones so light and small you can fit two in  your ass!

I don't know how nervous a person usually looks when they are using their colon as a toolbox, but this time it was enough to cause an investigation at the local prison in Ribeirao das Neves, Brazil.

André Silva de Jesus, 35, was attempting to visit the prison with a literal buttload of items, presumably for a friend on the inside, when he was stopped for "looking nervous." Prison guards did a thorough search and found the following items lodged up Jesus's butthole:

Sources: h/t Death and Taxes