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"Sir, here at Douchebag Bros. Customs, we offer a variety of customization options for the discerning douchebag. From metallic flames, to chrome brush guards with mudflap girls on them, to all the pointless little spiky things you could possibly arrange on your needlessly enormous vehicle. We even have — and this last one is kind of a joke — a lifesize bulldog you can affix to a plank jutting out of your bumper like some kind of 'roided out asshole who just escaped from the Ed Hardy Memorial Insane Asylum. Now which one would you—" "All of them. I'll take all of them."