Woo hah!! Got you all in check for making me stack my own pickles.
If you ever find yourself working at an all-night burger joint, you might encounter Busta Rhymes, as the staff of South Beach's Hamburger Baby did early this morning. Based on their account of what occurred, we put together a guide to what kind of interaction you might enjoy while processing Busta Rhymes's hamburger transaction. Here's the scenario...
1. Upon entering your burger joint, Busta might demand that he be served before everyone else who just poured out of nearby clubs, starving for anything to soak up the alcohol and revive them after hours of trying to scream sexual entreaties over pounding club music. When asked to wait his turn, Busta might call you a "fag" or a "bitch." Don't take it personally. That's just stuff Busta calls people who make him wait for hamburgers.
2. Busta might then return to his car to wait for his food to be delivered to him. However, if your burger joint makes it a practice to serve condiments on the side, Busta might return to the restaurant to call staffers "fag" and "bitch" some more because Busta doesn't like to assemble his hamburgers himself. Busta has a lot on his schedule, and he likes to leave the burger assembly to the fags and bitches paid to assemble his burger.
3. You might find Busta so angry about the condiments thing that he just won't leave your burger joint. That's when you should call the police. Busta will leave, but he won't leave happy.
4. If you kind of got used to Busta yelling at you and you start to miss him, don't worry. You can expect Busta to call you from his car to complain that you didn't put any cheese on his hamburger, even if you did. At this point he'll also threaten to "come get" you.
5. Your hamburger transaction is complete, and you can assume Busta Rhymes is curled up somewhere asleep, worn out from his tantrums and his belly full of hamburgers, calling people "bitch" and "fag" in a crowded burger joint somewhere in dreamland. Pleasant dreams, Busta Rhymes!