Actors Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard are one of those Hollywood couples we'll never stop shipping. They are adorable and beautiful and funny. They've been together for almost 10 years which is the equivalent of like at least 35 Hollywood years. Most importantly, they are incredibly forthright when it comes to their relationship and the struggle that is maintaining one— especially in the public eye.
But their dreamy partnership wasn't always so dreamy. In a recent Harry interview, Bell revealed just how much the couple fought during the first year of their relationship, and just how much of it was due to what she calls "incredibly toxic" behavior; Namely, her penchant for the dramatic.
When we first met, we fell madly in love and I love the dramatic exit. There is nothing I crave more. We'd get in a fight because we'd fight a lot, and I'd yell something and then slam the bedroom door, then I'd slam the front door, then I'd get in my car and then I'd skid out the driveway and I would sit around the corner in my car and it felt so good and I realized how incredibly toxic it was only after he pointed it out.
She went on to say that after several months of this behavior Dax finally put his foot down, ultimately setting an ultimatum for their relationship.
Three months into our relationship he was like: "You can't leave anymore during fights. I'm not going to do that." He has a very high standard and a strong code of ethics. He was like: "No, I have more respect for myself. I love you, but I'm not going to do that my whole life. Our marriage won't survive."
At this point Bell realized she had to change if she wanted to keep her mans. "He said, ‘Let's just help you. You are not a good fighter.' And I always thought I was because I won," Kristen shared with Harry Connick Jr. "He's like, 'No, people can't do that. Our marriage won't survive.' And everything he was saying was making so much sense and I was like damn this guy."
A couple of months ago, Bell shared some insight into how the pair actively choose to maintain a healthy relationship. Mainly, they cut out contempt (no eye-rolling, ever), they take responsibility in actively choosing to love and be happy, they address "the problem under the problem", and they practice vulnerability with one another.
Basically, marriage takes a lot of work. But so does everything else worth a damn in this life. So next time you find yourself slamming doors or stomping out of the house, take a deep breath and ask yourself— If you walk out the door, are you ok with the possibility of never coming back?