Cool S**t

<p>As my mother used to say: &quot;<a href="http://amzn.to/2vslxGp">A dollar spent on something</a> that makes people question your mental stability is a dollar well spent.&quot;</p><p>Ok, fine she didn&#39;t say that. But I guarantee you if she saw that I wasted my hard earned money on a <a href="https://amzn.to/2Ml1FBq">shower curtain with Jeff Goldblum holding a monkey on it</a>, she&#39;d wonder where she could get a one for herself. (She thinks Jeff Goldblum is hot. And probably likes monkeys?)</p><p>Anyway, I&#39;ll save conversations about my mother for therapy and keep conversations about <a href="http://amzn.to/2tn5TuI">anatomically correct whale dongs</a>, <a href="https://amzn.to/2Mwkzo1">crying unicorn candles </a>and other really weird ways to spend your money here.</p><h2>1. Next time the power goes out, <a href="https://amzn.to/2vQwHGX">let the tears of a unicorn</a> illuminate your path.</h2><p><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="648" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/1-1O0NAU.jpg" width="648" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure></a></p><p>Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">Amazon.</a></p><h2>2. Tired of getting naked and getting in the shower without feeling like Jeff Goldblum and a monkey are watching you? <a href="http://amzn.to/2Ml1FBq">Not anymore</a>!</h2><p><a href="http://amzn.to/2Ml1FBq"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="https://amzn.to/2Ml1FBq" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/2-h8TDmv.jpg" width="500" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://amzn.to/2Ml1FBq">amazon</a></div></figure></a><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2Ml1FBq">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>3. <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnzi80">This rubber chicken wine stopper</a> is definitely normal and not 100% the most random thing ever.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="792" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/3-soHelv.jpg" width="528" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnzi80">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>4. Remember steaming vegetables without having nightmares afterwards? Well <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnzi80">this melting pig face steamer</a> top will fix that problem.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="429" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/4-8vYASv.jpg" width="500" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnzi80">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>5. Looking for a new hobby? <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnNm1e">Not anymore you&#39;re not!</a> Stop sacrificing valuable cat hair to your vacuum and start turning it into art.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/5-ahgn3S.jpg" width="469" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnNm1e">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>6. If you&#39;re still scared of the dark but also you&#39;re very strange and also you love pizza, boom, <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnB8FM">here you go</a>.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/6-SIeZuZ.jpg" width="349" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Drench your night terrors in grease <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnB8FM">on Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>7. This is a <a href="http://amzn.to/2uiytA9">Corgi ass AND a coin purse</a>. Need I say more?</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="433" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/7-h5GCGw.jpeg" width="434" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2uiytA9">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>8. <a href="https://amzn.to/2MkU1aa">These</a> are giant, plush versions of STD viruses. I guess for you to cuddle with?</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2MkU1aa"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="https://amzn.to/2MkU1aa" height="648" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/giant-stds26017-UzcaH4.jpg" width="648" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> <div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://amzn.to/2MkU1aa">amazon</a></div></figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><br /> Give someone AIDS, Crabs or Herpes <a href="http://fave.co/2uQV88m">o</a><a href="https://amzn.to/2MkU1aa">n Amazon</a>.</p><h2>9. <a href="https://amzn.to/2vO1l3y">This is a fun puzzle book</a> wherein you &quot;solve&quot; each puzzle by successfully reaching orgasm while looking at the image. Fun for the whole family!</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="https://amzn.to/2vO1l3y" height="648" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/images-you-should-not-masturbate-to8888-iNOhUF.jpg" width="648" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://amzn.to/2vO1l3y">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://fave.co/2uQNGtX">A</a><a href="https://amzn.to/2vO1l3y">mazon, sinner</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>10. These <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnlvOV">animal print panties</a> are sure to get your S.O.&#39;s blood pumping, assuming he&#39;s turned on by animals.</h2><p><a href="http://amzn.to/2tnlvOV"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="589" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/original-grid-image-19593-1500486213-3-nX8HaL.jpg" width="589" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure></a><br /> Get them on <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnlvOV">Amazon</a>.</p><h2>11. These <a href="https://amzn.to/2MrE1lQ">tiny, creepy little hands</a> you can put on your hands. Or feet.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2MrE1lQ"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="" data-attribution-url="https://amzn.to/2MrE1lQ" height="500" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/419tazrqlsl-DQ1EYv.jpg" width="500" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> </figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="578" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-3158-1499711905-5png-VcPJym.jpeg" width="442" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get them on <a href="https://amzn.to/2MrE1lQ">Amazon.</a></p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>12. <a href="http://amzn.to/2uj8S8N">This little dude</a>, who takes runny yellow s**ts on all your hotdogs and hamburgers.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Amazon" data-attribution-url="" height="715" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/things-you-didnt-know-you-could-waste-your-tax-refund-on-until-just-now-25-ezp2bi.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution">Amazon</div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2uj8S8N">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>13. <a href="http://amzn.to/2ujgyYJ">This book</a> is the love story of our generation.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="715" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-5215-1500303392-1-Btohv6.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2ujgyYJ">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>14. <strong>Still trying to tie your living room together? <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnvlQz">This grandma sucking an inhaler decal</a> will surely do the trick.</strong></h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="560" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-9701-1499706687-2-RrihrT.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2tnvlQz">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>15. Do you like big dog butts, but cannot lie about it? Boom! <a href="https://amzn.to/2PfbO04">Here are some</a> round (furry) things in your face.</h2><p><a href="https://amzn.to/2PfbO04"><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="https://amzn.to/2PfbO04" height="650" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-10592-1499708179-8-NvFl8Q.jpg" width="650" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://amzn.to/2PfbO04">amazon</a></div></figure></a><br /> Get them <a href="https://amzn.to/2PfbO04">from Amazon.</a></p><h2>16. Every normal girl will want to start toting her tampons and wallet around <a href="http://amzn.to/2tndbOZ">in a faux fish carcass</a>.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="715" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-11507-1499709013-4-ej8MLj.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2tndbOZ">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>17. Not a fan of the fish purse? Ok, cool, how about a <a href="http://amzn.to/2gQK44H">French Fry purse</a> instead?</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="437" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-11507-1499709233-10png-aoeYMU.jpeg" width="436" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2gQK44H">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>18. <a href="http://amzn.to/2uidMEA">This little guy</a> is a great way to sharpen your pencil while also pretending to murder someone.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="715" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-14106-1500302547-7-LJYZcK.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2uidMEA">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>19. Or maybe you&#39;re not the murdering type and just <a href="http://amzn.to/2gQLSdZ">want to sharpen your pencil in someone&#39;s nasal cavity</a>?</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="450" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-15569-1499709558-1-sA4iU6.jpg" width="450" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2gQLSdZ">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>20. Next time you&#39;re flying, why not use a <a href="http://amzn.to/2uiMaz8">giant shrimp as a neck-pillow</a>? The TSA won&#39;t have any questions because this is very normal.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="628" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-16579-1500313687-1-9bTwKJ.jpg" width="629" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2uiMaz8">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>21. Everyone loves activity books and <a href="https://amzn.to/2OIdTAv">this one for pregnant women</a> is probably the best one on the market today.</h2><figure class="image"><a href="https://amzn.to/2OIdTAv"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Firebox" data-attribution-url="https://amzn.to/2OIdTAv" height="648" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/the-big-fat-activity-book-for-pregnant-people28288-DYq6qJ.jpg" width="648" /></div></a> <figcaption></figcaption> <div class="image-attribution"><a href="https://amzn.to/2OIdTAv">Firebox</a></div></figure><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p><br /> Get it <a href="https://amzn.to/2OIdTAv">on Amazon.</a></p><h2>22. <a href="http://amzn.to/2gQDfjX">This coffee mug</a> will not only make you have to poop but give you a place you can do it.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="715" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-17376-1499708565-22-Xbnuju.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2gQDfjX">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>23. &quot;He went to Jared!&quot; is what you can say jokingly as you <a href="http://amzn.to/2uiEInH">use these</a> to fight bunions.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="446" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-21267-1500307799-2-XzTYku.jpg" width="518" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2uiEInH">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>24. <a href="http://amzn.to/2vsBdd1">This horse head pillow case</a> is ideal for really disturbed <em>Godfather</em> fans.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="592" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-22221-1499709437-1-4K3EaD.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2vsBdd1">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>25. <a href="http://amzn.to/2ujbwLM">This beach ball</a> that looks a lot like the ball from that Visine commercial Ben Stein was in in the &#39;90s. Remember?</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH" height="614" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/sub-buzz-24793-1500314050-7-Fycw5S.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2gOpVMH">amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2ujbwLM">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>26. <strong>This <a href="http://amzn.to/2ujuYYP" target="_blank">anatomically correct whale dong </a>will make you realize you&rsquo;re not as perverted as you think, relatively speaking.</strong></h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2vslxGp" height="679" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/things-youll-regret-wasting-your-tax-refund-on-but-fuck-it-23-9HQTVD.jpg" width="452" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2vslxGp">Amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2ujuYYP">Amazon</a>. HOPEFULLY as a gag gift. Weirdo.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><h2>27. <a href="http://amzn.to/2vsQUkf">This incredibly complicated </a>way to dry your dog.</h2><p><figure class="image"><div class="image-container"><img alt="" data-attribution="Amazon" data-attribution-url="http://amzn.to/2vslxGp" height="925" src="//cdn.someecards.com/posts/things-youll-regret-wasting-your-tax-refund-on-but-fuck-it-27-cvKYwl.jpg" width="715" /></div><div class="image-attribution"><a href="http://amzn.to/2vslxGp">Amazon</a></div></figure><br /> Get it on <a href="http://amzn.to/2vsQUkf">Amazon</a>.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div><p>To be clear, we may or may not collect a portion of the sales generate from this post.</p><div className="ad-splitter"></div>

27 Products You'll Love If You're Really, Really F**king Weird

As my mother used to say: &quot;A dollar spent on something that makes people question your mental stability is a dollar well spent.&quot;Ok, fine she didn&#39;t say that. But I guarantee you if she saw that I wasted my hard earned money on a shower curtain with Jeff Goldblum holding a monkey on it, she&#39;d wonder where she could get a one for herself. (She thinks Jeff Goldblum is hot. And probably likes monkeys?)Anyway, I&#39;ll save conversations about my mother for therapy and keep conversations about anatomically correct whale dongs, crying unicorn candles and other really weird ways to spend your money here.1. Next time the power goes out, let the tears of a unicorn illuminate your path.amazonGet it on Amazon.2. Tired of getting naked and getting in the shower without feeling like Jeff Goldblum and a monkey are watching you? Not anymore!amazon Get it on Amazon.3. This rubber chicken wine stopper is definitely normal and not 100% the most random thing ever.amazon Get it on Amazon.4. Remember steaming vegetables without having nightmares afterwards? Well this melting pig face steamer top will fix that problem.amazon Get it on Amazon.5. Looking for a new hobby? Not anymore you&#39;re not! Stop sacrificing valuable cat hair to your vacuum and start turning it into art.amazon Get it on Amazon.6. If you&#39;re still scared of the dark but also you&#39;re very strange and also you love pizza, boom, here you go.amazon Drench your night terrors in grease on Amazon.7. This is a Corgi ass AND a coin purse. Need I say more?amazon Get it on Amazon.8. These are giant, plush versions of STD viruses. I guess for you to cuddle with?  amazon Give someone AIDS, Crabs or Herpes on Amazon.9. This is a fun puzzle book wherein you &quot;solve&quot; each puzzle by successfully reaching orgasm while looking at the image. Fun for the whole family!amazon Get it on Amazon, sinner.10. These animal print panties are sure to get your S.O.&#39;s blood pumping, assuming he&#39;s turned on by animals.amazon Get them on Amazon.11. These tiny, creepy little hands you can put on your hands. Or feet.  amazon Get them on Amazon.12. This little dude, who takes runny yellow s**ts on all your hotdogs and hamburgers.Amazon Get it on Amazon.13. This book is the love story of our generation.amazon Get it on Amazon.14. Still trying to tie your living room together? This grandma sucking an inhaler decal will surely do the trick.amazon Get it on Amazon.15. Do you like big dog butts, but cannot lie about it? Boom! Here are some round (furry) things in your face.amazon Get them from Amazon.16. Every normal girl will want to start toting her tampons and wallet around in a faux fish carcass.amazon Get it on Amazon.17. Not a fan of the fish purse? Ok, cool, how about a French Fry purse instead?amazon Get it on Amazon.18. This little guy is a great way to sharpen your pencil while also pretending to murder someone.amazon Get it on Amazon.19. Or maybe you&#39;re not the murdering type and just want to sharpen your pencil in someone&#39;s nasal cavity?amazon Get it on Amazon.20. Next time you&#39;re flying, why not use a giant shrimp as a neck-pillow? The TSA won&#39;t have any questions because this is very normal.amazon Get it on Amazon.21. Everyone loves activity books and this one for pregnant women is probably the best one on the market today.  Firebox Get it on Amazon.22. This coffee mug will not only make you have to poop but give you a place you can do it.amazon Get it on Amazon.23. &quot;He went to Jared!&quot; is what you can say jokingly as you use these to fight bunions.amazon Get it on Amazon.24. This horse head pillow case is ideal for really disturbed Godfather fans.amazon Get it on Amazon.25. This beach ball that looks a lot like the ball from that Visine commercial Ben Stein was in in the &#39;90s. Remember?amazon Get it on Amazon.26. This anatomically correct whale dong will make you realize you&rsquo;re not as perverted as you think, relatively speaking.Amazon Get it on Amazon. HOPEFULLY as a gag gift. Weirdo.27. This incredibly complicated way to dry your dog.Amazon Get it on Amazon.To be clear, we may or may not collect a portion of the sales generate from this post.

As my mother used to say: &quot;A dollar spent on something that makes people question your mental stability is a dollar well spent.&quot;  Ok, fine she didn&#39;t say that. But I guarantee you if she saw that I wasted my hard earned money...