Aaron Stein was arrested robbing a bank with an improvised non-explosive device.
Where he's going, they don't have dildos. Thankfully. (via KDKA)
Desperation can drive people to do crazy things. It can even turn an ordinary, law-abiding citizen into a brazen dildo-wielding criminal. It's hard to even say who's to blame: the criminal, or the society that failed him? Or the dildo itself?
35-year-old Aaron Stein of Pittsburgh was a pretty mild-mannered guy until last week, when he tragically lost all his money in the stock market. In a moment of panic, he walked into a PNC Bank in Crofton, PA and held it up. He passed the teller a note demanding cash, and said he was wearing a bomb. He was wearing a mask, had wires coming out from under his shirt, and was holding what looked like a trigger device with a green light on it. Convinced, the teller paid out, and Stein escaped in his white Toyota Corolla.
During an exhaustive manhunt, the police found Stein sitting in that same car, parked on the side of the road near the bank. There was also money visible inside the car. He was arrested, and the bomb squad was called in to investigate. They even brought a robot in case the vehicle was stuffed with explosives.
That robot is about to learn an important lesson about humanity. (via KDKA)
That's when Stein broke the bad news: his bomb wasn't a bomb at all. It was an adult toy duct taped to a phone charger. Despite his obvious embarrassment, police weren't taking any chances. They blew up his briefcase, and sent in the bomb-sniffing dog.
"What do you smell, boy? A dildo? Yeah, I smell it too. Yeesh." (via KDKA)
In the end, there's good news and bad news for Aaron Stein. The bad news is he's probably going to jail. The good news is he might be able to recoup his losses by patenting the all-in-one dildo/phone charger. That would be convenient, right? I know I'm not the only one who thought that.