The end of your apartment search is near, we mean!

Remember when your parents were worried about you moving to the big city? This is the picture they had in their heads. All it's missing are the heroin addicts and sassy prostitutes who were presumably moved into the hallway for this gorgeous photoshoot. Oh yeah, and the obvious murderer who is the primary leaseholder here. If anything, this highlights the peculiar beauty of real-estate language. For example, "private secure entrance" is real-estate speak for "one way in, one way out - perfect for a standoff with the cops." Check out the rest of the horrorshow below:

Sources: Redditor toneyeah | Los Angeles Craigslist