"This is a very long job ad because this is an extremely high concept show..."
"Clark Kent/Superman is also Aragorn in Lord of the Rings." (via Thinkstock)
Are you looking for a new job? Are you a comic book geek as well as a reality show freak? Are you used to working with people suffering from nervous mania and/or cocaine addiction? Then we have the job for you!
A producer in New York needs an assistant for a reality show he only describes as "Real Superman Show," and asks that interested parties first read the entire post before contacting him.
If you're interested I ask you to please read this very long full show description: this is a very high concept reality show and I need someone who gets what I'm working on here and not someone who just shows up and ends up being in over their head because they didn't read the concept and didn't understand what this is all about.
This job post is very long by average Craigslist standards, topping out at 5,512 words! That's longer than your average college essay. To sum up the idea of "Real Superman Show" as best as possible, celebrities are the real-life versions of comic book characters.
Like for example, I believe that the real Lex Luthor is Rupert Murdoch while the real LexCorps is News Corps and so in the show Rupert Murdoch is just Lex Luthor and News Corps is LexCorps.
And then like the real Lois Lane is Ashley Arenson while the real Lana Lang is Gillian Zinser from Beverly Hills 90210, while the real Bruce Wayne is Kanye West, the real Vicki Vale is Kim Kardashian, and the real Alfred Pennyworth is actually Kris Jenner because sometimes in fictional comics a woman may be portrayed as a man so while Bruce Wayne is a white billionaire and Alfred is his butler in the comic, in the real life DC Universe Bruce Wayne is Kanye West, a black superstar rapper, and Alfred is actually his mother-in-law Kris Jenner.
It's not a perfect system, but it is a system! The producer goes on to arbitrarily identify different celebrities as the real-life versions of comic book characters, but then throws in a little Ayn Rand for spice.
And sometimes characters are more than one person because they have multiple mythic portrayals, so with Ivanka Trump who is Volcana in Superman she's also the main character of Ayn Rand's Atlas Shrugged because Ivanka Trump is actually the real Dagny Taggart, so if you have someone who's a major figure like Ivanka who's Volcana they will often have more than one mythic form and in Ivanka's case she's both Volcana in Superman and also the main character of Atlas Shrugged as Dagny Taggart and The Trump Organization is actually the real Taggart Transcontinental.
By now, you might be seriously considering not applying to work for a compulsive typist with horrid taste, but then he drops a bombshell on us.
Now it's important for my personal assistant to understand who I am that I am able to figure this stuff out and do this: I actually developed the ability to figure out who the real characters are in real life after I made the discovery that I myself am a real version of a fictional character and that's that I am actually the real Harry Potter.
Now you're interested again after hearing the boy wizard himself is in charge.
There is a lot of text to sift through, and a lot of it is the same pop-culture remix nonsense the Internet is famous for giving to the world. The producer identifies scores of real-life counterparts to fictional people and places. This could be a man in severe schizophrenic distress, or he could be a coke fiend with great typing skills. I'm skeptical to call the post a fake and a work of fiction because it goes on way longer than it has to, which turns the mood from hilarious to disturbing the more you read.
Bottom line, you probably have a better boss than this guy.
Last of course is that this job ad in its overall length and complexity is basically a precursor to the level of complexity and length of material that you'll be taking in on a regular basis.
I sometimes just quickly write movie pitches that are 200 pages long so I just need an assistant who isn't overwhelmed by 200 page movie pitches.
I might just write a synopsis for a story arc that I don't have time to edit or spell check that may just be 150 pages so I just need someone who can just you know take a 150 page synopsis email and digest it without me having to edit it because I don't have time for that.
I honestly do tend to write like 30 page long emails on a regular basis.
This job ad is just me writing a rough job ad quickly in the way that I operate, it's meant that to know if you're right for this job you would have to be someone who can read this job ad and be like, "Oh cool, this sounds like a really fun cool project," and not feel like, "OH MY GOD, this is the most overwhelming and insane thing ever!"
It's not insane to me, it's just normal and regular.