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For when you just want what comes between the orgasm and the sandwich.
 
(Via Cuddleuptome)

Can't get anyone to touch you for free and aren't ready to make the leap to "person who pays for sex?" A woman named Samantha Hess has the perfect intermediate step for you: paid cuddling.

Just hop on a flight to Portland, Oregon and give her $60. In return, she'll be happy to abandon her hobby of "writing chalk affirmations in Laurelhurst Park" to give you an hour of touch so you don't die of skin hunger like an abandoned baby.