This creepy-fuck glass-disc recording from 1885 is believed to have the first motherfucking recording of the word... well, you know.

When you watch the video above, ignore the part where the transcript says "oh, no." According to Patrick Feaster at First Sounds, that's probably a fuckin' fuck:

The officially endorsed transcription gives the utterance as “oh no,” but most listeners instead report hearing the expletive transcribed below. The whole text should be regarded as tentative; the opening words are especially difficult to decipher.

And here's that transcript:

"This record has been inscribed by Mister Sumner Tainter and H. G. Rogers. It's the eleventh day of March, eighteen hundred and eighty five. [Trilled R] How is this for high! Mary had a little lamb, and its fleece was [...] as [...], and everywhere that Mary went — oh, fuck.
Sources: h/t BoingBoing | National Museum of American History | First Sounds