by Dan Abromowitz

Finding your footing in a new city is no easy feat, but the many recent grads signing apartment leases right now are going to have to do just that. Here are some tips for starting from scratch: 

  • First thing's first: find an apartment, a job, a basic social network, and make enough money to sustain yourself, while also finding time to pursue personal projects and greater aspirations, while also staying active and eating right and occasionally getting out into nature, while also staying in touch with friends and family, while also maintaining your mental health against a daily onslaught of humanity at its worst, while also getting enough sleep. The rest is easy! 
  • Introduce yourself to the mayor as soon as possible with a vigorous handshake to be noted by the local press as a brash up-and-comer. You'll be hobnobbing with society big wigs in no time! 
  • Walk your neighborhood to check out all the cool local spots for the few cheap ones you'll go to repeatedly and the vast majority you'll never, ever visit.
  • Popular bars and coffee shops are hotbeds of interesting, iconoclastic people to imagine yourself conversing with. 
  • Join a local rec league if you're looking for friends named Gordon. 
  • Get yourself arrested, in case some cute cop catches an eyeful of your mugshot and gets to thinking they'd like a piece of that action. 
  • A housewarming party is a great way to bring all your friends in the area together to comment on the size of your kitchen.