This audio recording documents an actual call made to the UK's 999 emergency number.

If there's one thing we love more than pointless emergency calls, it's pointless emergency calls that feature entertaining accents. And this one is the full package.

Related: Family calls 911 after irate cat traps them in bedroom.

It all started when an ornery, ill-tempered man from Northern England found out his girlfriend had let the cat eat his bacon. He saw only one option — contacting the authorities. What followed was the grumbliest, funniest emergency call we've ever heard, made all the better because you don't root for the guy at all. The cat should eat all his bacon forever.

Sources: Yahoo Australia