43-year-old Gregory White paid a steep price for stretching out his villainous balls on the New York City Subway's A train—he's going to jail. And lest you think New York has suddenly become a fascist police state, you're only half right. He's paying for crimes way worse than airing out his crotch in public.
Early in the morning on October 28, transit officers at Manhattan's Columbus Circle spotted White manspreading and were preparing to write him a ticket for disorderly conduct. In case you're behind on your train etiquette, manspreading is the practice of men (or women) stretching out their legs on public transportation, taking up more than one seat. Although it's always been an annoyance for any city overrun with commuters, in the past few years it has become a hot button issue on the Internet because of its implications for gender politics. Which makes White's case all the more symbolic.
When the cops ran White's name through their computer to write his ticket, they found that he was wanted for the murder of his girlfriend, 58-year-old Victoria Hammond. Hammond was found dead on January 24 in her Coney Island apartment, the victim of 24 stab wounds. White had been wanted for questioning since the incident, but had evaded police successfully for nine months. That is, until he unwisely decided to spread his junk.
When White was brought to the station for questioning, where he admitted to the murder, but claimed he was acting in self-defense (once again, 24 stab wounds). After such a long wait, Hammond's family is relieved that someone will finally face trial for Victoria's murder. And they owe it all to Manspreading—The Misdemeanor That's Best at Identifying Who's Secretly a Felon®.