Cops are here to protect and serve, but sometimes that entails stopping people for speeding because they're driving like maniacs and endangering the lives of the other drivers on the road. But no ticket (or hiked-up insurance rate) is final until that ticket is written and signed, so desperate motorists will do whatever they can to get out of it. These people on Reddit shared the craziest ways they ever got a police officer to put the pad away.

Thank tha police.
Thank tha police.

1. This deleted account said the thing we all want to say when caught speeding… and it actually worked instead of getting them arrested.

"Alright, I know. I'm speeding. But you have to admit, this road is really fun to speed on!"

The cop laughed. I'm now an attorney and this is clearly an admission of guilt which is a big no-no on moving violations. Looking back though, it was a good story.

2. Don't know what the cop's weight has to do with it, but internetlad's tactic is just something that nobody is going to question.


A guy I worked with had a story in which he convinced a fat cop that he was speeding because he had to go home to poop very, very badly. Apparently the cop told him to "go, just go"

3. A user called _-_-___-_ played the dog card. The dog card trumps all.


Gotta pet an adorable dog and no ticket. WIN WIN.

4. A doctor and a sandwich maker like skirmisher02 are pretty much the same, though.

Not speeding but I got out of getting one for running a red light by claiming I'm a medical student and I was rushing to assist with a procedure...

I was actually rushing home from my job at Subway to make it home for a Arsenal champions league game.


5. Passive voice for the win, ivaneatstacos.

Cop asked for my license and registration. I then told him, "Officer, do you know why you had me pulled over?"

It threw him off so bad he started laughing about it and let me off with a warning.

6. JosephXtreme could've been toasted by the cops and his grandma.

Had a pretty cool lady cop about to give me a showing ticket. Told her if I go home with a ticket my grandma will beat me with a toaster. She thought it was funny and gave me a warning.luckily I had two passengers to confirm the story.


7. This story from caitymcg123 marks the first time in history that wearing short-shorts ever made anybody happy.

I didn't have to. I was wearing shorts, and the officer noticed the Led Zeppelin tattoo on my thigh. He immediately said "sweet fucking tat!", fist bumped me, and told me to wear my seatbelt. He saved me a trip to court and the $200 ticket price.

8. User inasea has kids that are actually useful.

For some reason, my kids thought that getting stopped by the cops automatically meant I was going to jail. Any time I got pulled over, some, or maybe all 3 would be wailing at the top of their lungs, "please don't take my mommy to jail!!!" I'd have all of my papers out, and would be on top of it with all of the "yes, Sir, no sir," while trying to calm down the kids by saying, "Mommy's only going to get a ticket 'cause she was speeding, (or what ever.) Never did I get a ticket with a screamer in the car. Not sure how old they were before they figured out I wasn't going to go to jail.


9. This deleted user found themselves a cop that loves irony.

Cop: "I pulled you over because you were speeding. Want to tell me where were you going in such a hurry?"

Me: "Driving school."

Cop: "I hope you learn something."

10. What's smoother than smooth jazz? User mntndewette's friend is what.

Not me, but a close friend of mine. My friend got pulled over for speeding. As the cop approached his car he decided to turn off the radio, instead he missed and changed the station. The cop walks up to the car, friend rolls down the window and smooth jazz music flows out. Cop looks impressed and asks my friend if that was insert smooth jazz artist's name here. Friend says "yes, yes it is". Cop tells him to slow down and lets him off with not even a warning.


11. It was risky for MonkeyMan5391 to reference a movie to a police officer, but it was smart to use a reference from the most popular movie ever.

"This isn't the car you are looking for" with a Jedi hand wave. The cop laughed, said "good one", and gave me a warning.


12. User devidual didn't really pee himself, because that would be gross. But it's the thought that counts.


poured water on the genital portion of my pants and had this nervous and embarrassed look on my face when the officer came to talk to me.

I told him I was sorry, but I had needed to use the restroom really bad while I pretended to cover up my 'accident'.

He had a wtf look on his face and told me to hurry home.

Not my proudest moment.

14. Jedi_State_of_Mind revealed why cops never seem to get charged for coffee. (Because it pays off later.)

I use to be a Starbucks manager near the beach. Anytime a uniformed officer (police, firefighter, military,etc.) came in, I gave them their first couple of drinks for free. Every time I would speed down the PCH and get pulled over, the cop would look at me and recognize me as the guy who gives them free coffee. Basically, got to drive how I wanted for like a year and a half with no issues.


15. You can go as fast as you want if you do like Rojosapien did and carry a pizza in your car at all times.

I was taking a pizza home from work and got pulled over for driving 20+ over the speed limit. Rolled down my window as the cop walks up and i expected to go thought the usual police routine . But when I looked at the cop he was sniffing the air and asked " what do you have in your car?" I started panicking thinking he could smell residual weed in the car. He spotted the pizza box and asked " what's in the box?" Showed him the pizza, and trying to make the best out of the situation joking asked "want a slice?" He looked me dead in the eye lowered his face to mine and unexpectedly said "sure." So I gave him a slice and was just sitting there watching him eat it when he asked " you going to join me?" So I grabbed a slice, raised it in a toast and said " to safer driving." He let me go with just a warning TL;DR Shared a pizza with a cop to get out of a supper speeder ticket.