Wherever crime strikes the fluorescent halls of our nation's fast-food restaurants, surly, unresponsive teens will be there, pretending they're too cool to even notice it!
The suspect, an overweight man in his 40s or 50s who just discovered that robberies apparently aren't "cool" anymore. (via WPRI)
Nobody likes it when surly adolescents pretend you don't exist, but that's what happened to a robber in Coventry, Rhode Island, who entered a Subway sandwich shop staffed by two teens and demanded all the money in the register. Not only did he not get any cash, he didn't even get as much as an "Ew, gross," as the teens simply stood there and ignored him.
The lead robber was a heavyset man in his 40s and 50s, i.e. exactly the type of human these teens have probably had long years of experience ignoring at home and in school. After a minute or two of being neglected by these kids, the man "became agitated and mumbled something under his breath as he walked out of the business," said police.
About half an hour later, the man robbed a nearby liquor store. I guess he figured teens aren't allowed to work in liquor stores, so at least he'd get some proper respect.
As proof that teens CAN react to things, here's a video of teens (including Game of Thrones' Maisie Williams) being annoyingly baffled by an original Nintendo.
I want to know more about how they ignored him.
Was this a classic "dead-stare-back-in-your-eyes" teen standoff? Or were the two teens talking to each other about how Jessica is totally into Tommy but Tommy is too dorky to realize it? Or were they on their phones, not even aware of the outside world at all?
Good job, teens! It's nice to know that you're out there, defending the...hey, I'm talking to you. Hello? I'm trying to pay you a compliment, you know. Your Snapchat will still be there in a second! Well, ok, I guess it won't, but you're still being rude. I'm only 30, you know! No, that's not creepy. Whatever, I'm leaving. You kids suck.