The most ridiculous items from crime blotters in local newspapers in small-town America.

The most ridiculous items from crime blotters in local newspapers in small-town America.
Advertising

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/53617be232e82.jpeg

I can't imagine what this guy would put a milkman through. (via)

Crime remains a serious problem in America, but there has still been a dramatic reduction in crime rates over the last 20-odd years. Some small towns, it would seem, just don't have enough real crime to prevent idiots from monopolizing the time of the police force and the inches of the local crime report. Then, there are college towns and the even-more-ridiculous rich towns. Fortunately for us, the Internet also came along at the same time (coincidence? I think I'm not qualified to speculate), so we can all share in the anecdotes of the most asinine people to ever call upon, or be visited by, the law.

Advertising

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/53617e3b0d10e.jpg

It's unclear whether it was the bus driver's buttocks or the kids... (via)
 

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/53617f54e6241.jpg

It's in Punxsutawney, so I suppose a groundhog might tell them how long it will take to find it.
(via Facebook)

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/53618353a52d6.jpg

It's a thin, syrupy line that separates supicious from Canadian. (via)
 


I guess an extremely rich town isn't "small-town America" but it is 
"crazy-town America."
(via)
 

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/53618451087f6.png

We need to stop making young women feel like their stench is inadequate. (via)
 

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/536185de8cbac.jpg

I feel like I just read a noir version of 'Garfield.' (via)
 

Advertising

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/536186af6a902.jpeg

The man then signed up as a trainee for the Sheriff's Department. (via)
 

//cdn.someecards.com/someecards/images/legacy/happyplace.com/5361875102ac8.jpg

Actually, this would be an acceptable time to lie to the police. (via)

(by Johnny McNulty)

Advertising