In Arizona, pretty much the only way to pass the time is to hike a mountain, rescue a horse from a swimming pool, or try to assassinate the moon. Or, you could do what two Phoenix idiots did, and set off every single firework inside a Walmart.

The only fireworks that can legally be sold in Arizona are those little poppers, sparklers, and those boring-ass smoke snakes, but fires can get out of control really quickly, especially in a dusty Phoenix hellscape.