And with that, the victim has become the (slightly terrifying) perpetrator. It's like that old Klingon proverb, "Revenge is a dish best served via text message." Assuming he doesn't have to rely on Apple Maps to get him back to the scene of the crime, this guy should probably take her up on her offer. Then he should use the $95 dollars he has left to buy some pants with more secure pockets. It's dangerous out there in those streets.

Sources: Reddit