Your July 4th photos look like crap compared to T. Swift and co.
Happy 4th from me, @gigihadid, @marhunt, @britmaack, @serayah and @haimtheband :)
A photo posted by Taylor Swift (@taylorswift) on
You think you're patriotic, but you don't have access to the kind of tanned, beautiful friends and gorgeous, dramatic backdrops necessary to pull off a truly American Instagram shoot.
You don't love anyone as much as this all-American girl loves this all-American Scottish guy. If you tried to jump romantically onto someone's back, they'd fall over.
Do you own a red, white, and blue water slide or even a giant pool full of swan floats? You don't? Your citizenship should be revoked.
Comfy floaty ☺️ @taylorswift
A photo posted by Serayah (@serayah) on
You are completely lacking in famous British friends to play the bad guys.
You don't even have a large yet cozy kitchen to bake in, do you? Or an oversized but somehow graceful white sweater that perfectly complements your gently tousled hair? Or six friends to spread frosting with at once?
Making the infamous flag cake @taylorswift @gigihadid @marhunt @babyhaim #HappyFourth
A video posted by Serayah (@serayah) on
You might as well move to Canada.