Here is the fattest news story of the day...

My dream is to one day run the "News of Food" column.
(photo via the NY Times)

The New York Times found out something unbelievable this week: there was a time in America when we didn't constantly eat pizza. The fateful day that average Americans were doomed to a doughy future was September 20th, 1944, when Times reporter Jane Holt wrote of "a pie popular in Southern Italy...filled with any number of different centers."

You're damn right, Jane. Any number indeed.

The only toppings listed in the article are: mushrooms, cheese, anchovies, capers and onions. Good thing America dug its greasy, innovative hands into this recipe, otherwise the world would never have thought to put all of those ingredients together and then add pineapple and ham.