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If you fail a basic test of manhood, you're supposed to destroy all evidence that it happened.

I live in New York City, where pigeons are so abundant, they're a minor annoyance like deer in New Jersey or hearing those One Direction fellas on the radio.

If I had to really say where pigeons landed on the list of things I'm afraid of, I'd put them at number 346. Right between squirrels and a Q-tip hurting me somehow.

That said, there are days when I'm not paying attention, and I walk straight into a flight of pigeons, I might (only for a second) duck out of the way while my face (involuntarily) shows some semblance of fear. When that happens, I look around to see if anyone saw me and immediately stab them. No one will know my shame!

Sources: Tastefully Offensive