Ah yes, the UN guaranteed that in 1948. (screengrab via Comedy Central)

Is having sex with a table a human right? Well, in the privacy of your own home, maybe, but that's not the point.

The point is that a Russian political analyst and spokesman for Vladimir Putin compared gay sex to sex with a table in an interview with Jason Jones of the Daily Show. If Jones's funny and depressing report from Sochi(ish) is any indication, Russian attitudes toward gays will have to change a lot if Russian gays can hope to acquire even the mediocre rights we provide here in the United States.

Sources: The Daily Show