You can already tell this is going to be good. (continued below)

Redditor xxsamb10xx's grandfather, Walter George Bruhl Jr., wasn't about to leave his obituary up to some relative who survived him. Before he died, he wrote it himself, leaving blank spaces for the date of his death and the length of time he was married to his wife.

Highlights include Walter's list of body parts that preceded him in death, including his tonsils and prostate, and his remorse that there would be no viewing, since his wife wouldn't let him appear "standing in the corner of the room with a glass of Jack Daniels in his hand."

Sources: redditor xxsamb10xx