House guest accuses 'lazy' pregnant woman of 'not pulling her weight' around the house.

Being a good house guest isn't that hard: pick up after yourself, thank your hosts, and... that should be about it, right? Oh! And maybe don't talk sh*t about them to mutual friends.

An upset hostess came to Reddit after finding out what her guest really thinks of her.

'AITA for being upset after my house guests said I 'don't pull my weight' to mutual friends?'

Temporary_Major8092 writes:

I (29f) am currently pregnant with my second child. I've recently had a friend and her husband over at my place. They left a few days ago. They dropped by to visit me and a few mutual friends from uni but they had an issue with their airbnb and needed a place to stay during the visit. I offered.

My husband and I are Muslim, my friends are not. It's Ramadan but I'm pregnant, and our daughter is only 4 years old, so my husband is the only one who is fasting this month. I'm also on maternity leave so I'm pretty much at home most of the time.

My husband and I generally split cooking, doing the dishes etc. Our division of chores have not changed during ramadan because even if I were fasting, we would still have to cook 3 times a day for our daughter. For example, when my husband makes lunch or breakfast it'd generally be for me and our daughter, but when we had guests it included them as well.

That's nice of them!

And obviously our iftar meal would be for everyone. Same situation when I cook. I make breakfast and lunch for myself, our daughter and guests, iftar meal for everyone.

After they leave, my friend sends me a message, thanking us for letting them stay at our place.

She specifically thanks my husband for all the amazing meals and company while he must be exhausted, and that he was such an amazing dad and husband for doing so much work during Ramadan. The tone of the message sounded a bit odd to me, but I just brushed it off.

Hmmmm...

However, recently one of our mutual friends told me that my friend said my husband is a saint for 'doing so much work when he must be so tired while I don't pull my weight. He cooks, cleans, does the laundry and even looks after the kid when she goes out at night.'

I guess this made my friend think that I'm lazy, because who makes their husband who is fasting do chores? I guess she thought I should be the one doing all the cooking and the cleaning because I'm not fasting, so I must be having an easier time than him.

It didn't matter that I was cooking half the time, it's not enough apparently. Also my husband and I alternate days for going to the mosque for Taraweeh, which is the explanation for the 'when she goes out at night' bit.

So she's judging her for *checks notes* praying?

I feel a bit upset, and I did send her a message asking whether everything is alright. She replied saying our mutual friend shouldn't have told me what she told her in confidence, but that she stands by everything that she's said. I'm honestly a bit upset. I haven't replied to her messages after that.

Here's what Reddit had to say..

imothro comments:

Doesn't sound like she's much of a friend if she's decided to shittalk you behind your back after you opened your home to her. NTA (Not the a-hole).

Unhappy_Animator_869 says:

NTA OP. She’s more likely jealous of your equal and loving partner. It sounds like a classic example of a man being congratulated for doing what may be considered a minimum for a woman. OP treasure your wonderful husband, your respectful marriage, and all the best with your pregnancy. And enjoy the rest of Ramadan. And dump the crappy friend. She adds nothing.

kittygattochat suggests:

NTA. I would email back and say “I’m sorry that a marriage where the husband puts in equal labour is so strange to you that it actually worries you. The fact that you think being supportive and carrying his load in our house makes my husband a Saint makes me feel bad for you since that suggests you think it would literally take a miracle for your husband to do the same for you. Take care!”

throwtheclownaway20 writes:

NTA. People really need to learn to understand a situation before making a judgment about it. Your husband fasting does put extra strain on things, but so does, y'know, pregnancy. If he's okay with it and you're okay with it, then to hell with what your uneducated friend thinks.

Timely_Egg_6827 says:

What a rude guest to be so judgemental of her host and hostess. She was happy to accept hospitality when her accomodation fell through but took it upon herself to involve herself by commenting on another couple's relationship.

She is also pretty mysognist in that it is your role to do all the house stuff. I don't think I'd be inviting her back. It is also worse to smear someone behind their back after accepting a favour.

Looks like OP is definitely not the a-hole, but her husband can still be a saint.

Actually, how about BOTH parents are saints?