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You don't call in and tell the chef you have a contagious virus. You come into the kitchen, where customers' food is being prepared, and you prove that you are far too sick to be in a place where food is being prepared!
And that's not even one fifth of the requirements demanded for what has to be the worst food-related job outside of being the guy who checks for horsemeat in Ikea meatballs. According to the tipster who sent this in, Farmbloomington "is not some 4-star French restaurant. It's a tiny cafe - a nicely lit, well decorated hole-in-the-wall that serves up pretentiousness alongside its overpriced dishes." The website for this Bloomington, Indiana based spot indicates they serve standard farm-to-table type fare. Is that as big a deal in a place where everyone's eight feet away from a farm? Enjoy the full declaration of one restaurant manager's struggle with his own control issues below: