When this woman feels obligated to tell her family the truth about her BIL, she asks Reddit:
I'm 37F and I come from a close-knit family. I have 2 younger siblings (28M and 27F) and my sister recently got engaged to FBIL (23M) after dating him for around a year. We all know him well and I have always got along with him.
He comes from a rough background but he has always been very polite and charming. He doesn't talk about his own family or about his upbringing. My sister said it's a painful topic for him so no one ever pushed.
There was recently a family event which FBIL attended. He was quiet during the day (he is normally high-energy and sociable) then disappeared for a while. When I went outside for some fresh air I bumped into him.
He was emotional and said it was a hard day for him due to negative associations. He ended up offloading some quite shocking things from his past including that he has a history of very serious drug use (including needles) and that he has done sex work and p**n (men and women).