Pregnant woman gets revenge when MIL throws out her Thanksgiving dish.
When this DIL is angry at her MIL, she asks Reddit:
'AITA for leaving Thanksgiving dinner at my MiL's house after I discovered that she threw out the dish I brought?'
I (27F) am 5 months pregnant. I have pre-existing health issues that I manage by having a diet with no meat of any sort.
This has caused me and MiL to have confilcts especially when I refuse to eat the food she makes. I used to either come and not eat anything or just stay at home.
Since I' m pregnant I could not attend Thanksgiving and not bring food with me out of respect for MiL. I cooked a small meal and brought it with me.
MiL made a fuss about it but justified it as 'I was making a mistake robbing her grandbaby of getting all meat benefits'. I explained that I take supplements as replacement but she shrugged and was upset.
We waited til dinner table was set. MiL didn't let me help or go into the kitchen at all. She took my dish and said she'd reheat it for me and put it on the table.
Yet when I sat down I was stunned to have discovered that she had not put my dish there.
When asked publically, she denied recieving any dish from me and started asking if I accidently left it at home or the car. There was a huge blow up.
MiL tried to convince me to sit back down and just eat what she put on the table. I refused but my husband insisted and told me to let it go this time. I decided to leave. I grabbed my stuff and walked out.
I found out that she threw out the dish I brought and tried to get me to just eat what she put on her table. She said that she was looking out for grandbaby's health and my husband said it wasn't worth leaving the celebration and causing a scene.
We had a big argument and his mom thinks I'm being dramatic and hard to deal with.
Was I the ahole for walking out? INFO! The dish I brought was supposed to keep me full and provide me with all the benefits.
So it wasn't like any of her appetizers or side dishes. I also put work into making it and it cost me money. She keeps insisting it's about her grandbaby and her concern for their health. AITA?
Let's find out.
inubasket writes:
NTA. I've been in your shoes. Tell your husband to defend you or you're out. Things will only get worse. She's gonna force you to raise that baby her way and your husband is gonna let her. The gaslighting from her is especially scary.
Literally tell your husband straight out that he either be 100% on your side from now on for everything or you're leaving him. Do not put up with that. It will ruin your life, your marriage, and your kid.
myhairsonfire2 writes:
NTA. You have a husband problem more than a MIL problem. He should stand up to her for you. It should always be “worth it” to him - especially more so now because you’re pregnant.
MIL tried to gaslight you into believing you’re crazy (that you didn’t just hand her a dish that you did, that she didn’t take it from you & tell you she was reheating it, that you imagined all that). That’s not just inappropriate - it’s textbook abuse.
More importantly, she believes that she knows better than the doctor & was trying to force you into eating something that you medically should not. That’s not just arrogant - it’s dangerous.
If she did it to you, she’ll do it to your child when it gets here. I sincerely hope that your husband grows a spine & puts her in her place. If not, you need to leave for the safety of you & your child.
Start documenting her abusive behavior now - especially in regards to trying to override your doctor’s orders. If your husband never puts a stop to her behavior, you’ll want to be sure that she doesn’t get any unsupervised visitation if it comes to that.
newfie1936 brings up these great points:
NTA you have dietary restrictions that she doesn’t care about, you should have a talk to with your husband I assume he knows your diet restrictions and the fact he won’t stand up for you to his mother is a major red flag.
Diet restrictions are not to be messed with because you could get severely sick and it could hurt the baby if you force yourself to eat certain things and your body reacts negatively.
If your husband doesn’t actually start standing with you tell him it’s either he talks to his mother and starts standing with you or he can start packing a bag. It’s his wife and child or his mother who is a being a downright monster.
Also don’t leave your kid alone with her in the future if she can potentially put his life in danger now who knows what she can do to him when he’s born.