An exclusive interview with the happiest couple on Facebook.

An exclusive interview with the happiest couple on Facebook.

Joel and Samantha just got hitched! You've probably seen every moment of their marriage so far on Facebook, but Someecards wanted to sit down with the couple and learn the secrets behind their fairy tale romance! Here's the exclusive interview with that happy couple on Facebook:

An exclusive interview with the happiest couple on Facebook.

True love.

Someecards: So, only three months ago you two hadn't even started dating?

Samantha: No, but when you know you just know, you know?

Joel: It's been a great ride so far.

Samantha: Awwww

[kissing, unintelligible]

Someecards: What's a normal day like for you two?

Samantha: I wake up at 7 AM, and make us french press coffee. Then I take a pic of the dog. Then I take a picture of the coffee. Then I take a picture of the coffee, the newspaper, and the dog in the background. Then I wake up my man by telling him how much I love him and get a selfie of us in bed. Then I show him the picture of the dog and that makes him happy.

An exclusive interview with the happiest couple on Facebook.

Joel: Sometimes I snap a photo of her phone with the dog photo on it and post that to my Instagram!

[Joel laughs, picks up his phone and reveals multiple pictures showing that he does this often]

Samantha: Then around 11 AM…

Someecards: Wait, do either of you have jobs?

Samantha: Yes, I'm a personal trainer and I see clients from home.

Joel: And I am currently living off my inheritance.

Samantha: It's not that much. Just enough to get every piece of furniture I see at Crate & Barrel. I find places to save though: like how I replaced all our glassware with mason jars.


Joel: I like them! They make it sort of challenging to drink. And I like a challenge. The struggle is real! Haha. Right?

Samantha: He makes me laugh. That's why I keep him around.

Someecards: So, around 11 AM, you walk the dog?

Samantha: Well, run the dog! I'm up to about a half marathon per day. I'll run a few more miles if my pre-workout selfie gets fewer likes than I expected.

Joel: I get so mad when I'm not the first to like them!

Someecards: What do you do while Samantha runs, Joel?


Joel: Well, I spend a good chunk of my morning applying for fellowships at graduate writing programs. I haven't written much in awhile but I've applied and been accepted to 15 or 20 already. So, I see which ones sent me a response, then get to work on the next application. Not sure where I want to go yet, but people seem excited when I write a post about which ones accepted me!

An exclusive interview with the happiest couple on Facebook.

Samantha: Joel is very smart. We read together all the time.


Someecards: What kind of books do you like?

Samantha: UUUGH! I love so so so many. I can read a book a day.

Someecards: Wow! That's a lot. What are a few of your favorites?

Samantha: Oh, like anything really. I just really love books.

Joel: Yes. Books are terrific.

Someecards: But do any specifics come to mind?

Samantha: Yeah, well. Classics, you know? Like Harry Potter and Roald Dahl. I love them. They inspire me.


Joel: I just love the feel of a real book.

Someecards: What books do you like reading, Joel?

Joel: I've been too busy lately to read, but I do love the feel of them. Sometimes I'll look back through the old books I still have from college and post a photo of my favorite underlined quotes.

Samantha: And people absolutely LOVE when I post a few inspirational lines from Oh, The Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss. If I had to pick a favorite that'd be it.

Someecards: So, you generally read in the afternoon after you run?


Samantha: Oh, no. By the afternoon, I'm teaching kickboxing and yoga in our studio in the basement. I do 3-4 hours with students, then about an hour of taking photos of my abs, then I shower, a few more photos…Sometimes I get my students to take the photos with me. I have better abs than most of the dudes in class.

Someecards: Do you ever get jealous, Joel?

Samantha: What's there to be jealous of? My man keeps me satisfied. You can tell from our constant post-coital selfies that I post at extremely random intervals throughout the day.


Joel: Yeah, I don't like to boast about something that personal online. There is way too much oversharing these days. I will, however, get as close as I can to telling complete strangers how many times I make love to my wife each day without actually writing it.

An exclusive interview with the happiest couple on Facebook.

Samantha: I'd film it and post it everywhere if my parents wouldn't see it. That would show everyone what a healthy marriage looks like! Anyway, after class it's dinner time!


Joel: I'm the chef of the household!

Samantha: He's like that little Rat in Ratattattatt or whatever.

Joel: You're my little rat.

[kissing, unintelligible]

Joel: So, while she's running or teaching classes I'll start dinner. Usually I like to start cooking around 2 PM, 3 if it's something simple. Like clockwork, dinner is on the table at 8:00 PM sharp!

Someecards: What could possibly take that long?


Joel: We're completely green in this household, so I myself raise and kill anything we eat.

Samantha: It's mostly lobster.

Joel: Then after dinner we Netflix binge! We're almost completely done with our third viewing of the entirety of Friends!

Samantha: I got a little ahead of him the other day on Season 3.

Joel: Do it again and I'll kill you!

[Samantha laughs. Joel laughs after he realizes she's laughing]

Someecards: Do you ever argue? About something that's not Netflix I mean?


Samantha: No! What's there to fight about? We're so happy.

Joel: We're so deliriously happy.

Someecards: Well, do you ever talk to each other?

Samantha: Of course! I text him all the time from the studio.

Joel: We're talking right now, aren't we?

[a full minute of silence passes]

Someecards: So… You think you'll have children?


Samantha: Well...funny you should bring that up...

[Samantha holds up her phone with this photo posted on her Facebook profile]

An exclusive interview with the happiest couple on Facebook.

Joel: [looking at his phone] Oh my God!!! I just liked your photo. This is amazing! I love you so much!

[They kiss and hug]

Joel: What should the hashtag for this pregnancy be? #BestBaby or #ExpectingTheUnexpected?