"I rule that your job totally sucks."
This is one of those stories that seems really funny on the surface and then has to go and be a total downer. Court stenographer Daniel Kochanski was fired in March 2012, in part because he stopped making transcripts of trials and started typing "I hate my job, I hate my job, I hate my job" over and over again. Funny, right? It's something we've all done to look like we're taking notes during a meeting or to stave off 4 p.m. boredom (how many times can you type "I hate my job" in one minute? Race your friends!). Kochanski is a working man's hero!
But it turns out Kochanski's story isn't all that hilarious. Apparently, he's an alcoholic, pushed over the edge by the stress of his job, according to his now ex-wife and estranged father. What a bummer! And I guess courts actually need their stupid transcripts for criminal evidence or whatever, so Kochanski's gibberish-typing "may have jeopardized hard-won convictions by giving criminals the chance to claim crucial evidence is missing." Ugh. This is why we can't have funny things.
At least this made me laugh: the rogue stenographer may actually have been...John Edwards?!
(screengrab via New York Post)
Thanks for arranging your top stories so well, New York Post!
(by Shira Rachel Danan)