This is why you should never tell a stranger on public transit to go F himself.

This is why you should never tell a stranger on public transit to go F himself.

When you're subjected to public transportation, everyone's an a-hole. But that's just something you've got to keep to yourself.


A suit jacket would really cover up those pit stains. (stock photo)

Londoner Matt Buckland was just trying to suffer through the hell that is often a morning commute on public transportation Monday morning, when a totally rude bozo did not honor the unspoken rules of civility and order for entering and exiting the train. In an interview with BuzzFeed, he said,

"At Monument station, I stood to one side to let someone else off the train first and I think he thought I was just standing in his way. He pushed and I turned, I explained I was getting off too but he pushed past and then looked back and suggested I might like to fuck myself…which might have been true but not before a few cups of coffee."

A familiar encounter for anyone in a heavily populated city. When it happens to me, I have a lengthy argument with the transgressor in my head until I find something new to be angry about, but what happened with Buckland was so much better.

Ah hahahahahahah! Hahah! Sweet, sweet revenge! Why don't you go F yourself?!

Of course, Matt was a perfect gentlemen about it, albeit a little coy.


"At first he didn't recognize me," Buckland told BuzzFeed. "I asked him how he got to the interview, how was his morning commute. (We were on the train in the morning but the interview was at 5.30pm that evening.)"

Matt is the head of talent recruitment at a venture capital firm at Forward Partners, and the subway pusher was there to get a job as a web developer.

Buckland said they both "talked about their shared hatred of commuting," and that he didn't hold the incident against the train pusher, but that the guy didn't get the job anyway.

"When you interview you are looking for a read of skills, but also to know if that person is a real human being, it's about that connection."

Mmm, hmmm. Nothing is more connecting than a stranger's hand on your body. Now get out of my office, and don't forget to mind the gap.