Sorry, the Tooth Fairy needs two independent witnesses to verify.

When comedian Emily Winter was a little girl, she had the dubious privilege of having two lawyer parents. As the document above suggests, she once lost a tooth while eating breakfast. When she couldn't find it to put under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy, Winter's parents came up with a plan to convince the fairy the tooth was real. Mom wrote up the affidavit, Emily signed it, and Dad notarized. Just like in every family!

Typing this up was a prudent financial choice for Winter's parents, particularly this line: "Affiant further states that if so compensated, she shall not seek additional compensation if the tooth is located in the future." I definitely pulled that one as a kid. Turns out the Tooth Fairy is also not easily fooled by bits of wax that look like teeth.

Still, as cute as this is, there's something unsettling about the thought of a tooth floating in a bowl of Alpha Bits that's going to stick with me all day.


(by Shira Rachel Danan)

Sources: @emilymcwinter