September is National Suicide Prevention Month, an important reminder to look out for signs of depression within yourself and among loved ones, as well as your capacity to make positive change on a local and global scale.
Over the last several weeks, Instagram and Facebook have been flooded with the hashtag #faceofdepression, with thousands of users around the world making the point that there really isn't one. There aren't necessarily visible glaring red flags or outward displays of 'sadness' when someone is suffering with this hugely untreated and undiagnosed disorder. As a matter of fact, many appear happy and even overjoyed with their lives, until the unspeakable occurs. Often, those in anguish prefer to hide their true emotions, to suffer alone so as not to 'burden' their loved ones with their grief.
A recent video posted by Chester Bennington's widow hours before his suicide is a prime example of the lengths people go to hide their pain, as well as the non-discriminatory nature of the beast. If you feel as though you may be afflicted, check yourself for these 10 concealed depression habits and don't be ashamed or afraid to seek help if you find yourself engaging in these behaviors.
The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7 if you or someone you know needs urgent help. Call 1-800-273-8255 or go to their official website to live chat with a counselor.
"This is depression in our home. I tried to hang myself in my attic when the board broke and I broke thru the ceiling alerting my family. I fight every day. My husband tries his best but can't break through. I don't understand it. I don't know why I can't get rid of it. I have a wonderful family. I feel selfish, lost, sick and angry at myself. My brain has always been a little scrambled and I've fought just to make it thru school, I can't keep a job. I can't stay in task long enough or I take too long. I leave before I get fired. It's hard to feel worthless and I hate feeling like a burden to my family. I have so much pain inside. I'm in therapy I have meds. All I know is even though I feel like suicide would make life easier for my family, I also feel like if I could just get my head fixed and could be someone worthy, I really would like to stay around. I have been trying for so long I don't know if it's gonna happen for me. Today I am here. We will see how tomorrow goes tomorrow. I take it day for day and some times hour by hour. Sometimes i think If I can get through one more hour I'll go to bed and I'll sleep til tomorrow and see how it goes. Today has been ok. I'm trying to find something good today to give hope for tomorrow. Today I try."
"My daughter as well. The night before she ended up in the hospital they went to the daddy daughter dance and had an amazing time. Thankfully she's still alive today and learning to beat her illness. She was 8 at the time."
"My #faceofdepression and yes it is possible to be depressed with a child.
Hearing, "You don't have a reason to be depressed with her around" doesn't do shit but make me feel worse about myself
Being told, "All you need is exercise and a good diet" just makes me want to throat punch you even though you're coming from a good place
Depression keeps you from doing things you want to do because it's literally a chemical imbalance in your brain."
"This is my boyfriend two weeks before hanging himself. Will never understand it... ?"
"this is what depression looked like not long before we lost our beloved Luke. Depression is a SERIOUS illness. Don't dismiss people who are hurting."
"Bipolar disorder here,(with a heavy emphasis on the depression side)...I get up, put on a full face of makeup, wear a fun dress, all while struggling with depression, anxiety and sometimes suicidal thoughts.."
"currently at the doctor seeking help, most have no idea what I'm going through and that I cry in the shower or in the car on my way home from work or can't sleep at night because of panic attacks"
"Major Depression & PPD here. 3 weeks pp with #2 & going to the doctor is helping. Most times I feel like I'm drowning but last couple of days it's been easier. Sometimes just talking about it can be cathartic. PLEASE seek help if you need it. It's not failure. Sometimes you just need a little more time to get your shit together and that's ok, because being a functional parent is hard fucking work."
"The face of depression. Sometimes it looks optimistic. Sometimes it doesn't. And having a smart, beautiful child doesn't mean those feelings don't exist or that they're not valid. She loves me on my good days and my bad days."
"I have been struggling with depression and anxiety for years and years. I started experiencing symptoms around 12 and wasn't diagnosed or treated until I was 25. (Early on docs told me I didn't seem depressed.) Once my kiddo was born, my postpartum depression fused with my everyday depression and I almost lost it. It was my dream to be a happy SAHP, and even though I stayed home for over a year, I felt worse and worse every day. It took all of my energy to make sure my baby was taken care of. I developed severe sleep apnea, gained a lot of weight, and couldn't function outside of my parental duties."
"GAD and depression for probably two decades. My childhood nickname was "smiley". My positive attitude gets remarked on often. My brain still fires weird regardless."
"I have suffered from depression for more than 2 thirds of my life. Think about that. Most of my life has been in pain and misery. Most of my life has been spent fighting my demons of suicidal ideation and convincing myself to stay, to keep fighting. There are days, even now, that I can draft my goodbye note in my head. There are days I can almost convince myself that my son and my family could be better off without me. Yet, this is no way makes me an unfit mother. One thing I never fail at for my son is loving him. Showing him he is loved. I know some of you say "you shouldn't have children if you are mentally ill" and to you I say: Eat a bag of dicks. My son saved my life. My son saves my life every day. I will not keep from him that I am sick when he is old enough to understand. I'd rather he see me battle my mind, than think even a fraction of my pain was caused by him."