There are many things going on in the world to be concerned about right now. Donald Trump's precarious grasp on grammar, laws, and sanity. Vladimir Putin being lauded for putting on heartwarming piano recitals. People using their boyfriend's scrotum to blend their makeup.

Just in case you had any confidence left in the American public, here's a statistic guaranteed to destroy it:

Seven percent of Americans believe that chocolate milk comes from brown cows.

That works out to 16.4 million people in this country who really, truly believe that if you squeeze the udder of a brown cow, Nesquik comes out.


God help us.

The shocking statistic comes from an online survey conducted by the Innovation Center of U.S. Dairy. It's easy to dismiss this number as fake or inflated (it HAS to be, right? Right?!) but as the Washington Post points out, a Department of Agriculture study once found that 20% of Americans were not aware that hamburgers are made of beef. And many Americans rank "potato chips" as their favorite vegetable. In other words, maybe we should be counting it as a win that people realize milk—chocolate or plain—comes from cows at all.


At this point, if Trump wanted to nominate Jessica Simpson for Secretary of Agriculture, it wouldn't just make perfect sense, it would be exactly what we deserve.