Adoptive father won't let son meet 'shady' bio dad. AITA?
When this father is feeling territorial, he asks Reddit:
'AITA for not letting my son see his bio dad?'
My wife and I adopted our son Adam 13, right after he was born. My sister had drug issues, and his bio dad signed away all custody. My sister is MIA to the family most part, and Adam knows of her. His Bio Dad was imprisoned about 10 years ago, and his whole family is messed up. Bio just recently released prison, and his case worker wants him to meet our son and have a better connection with him.
He signed away custody, and I said no. My wife agrees. Our son is sensitive and does well in school and will be attending a private science and STEM-focused high school. He’s top of his class. Enjoy music and video games and wants to be an engineer or composer. I do NOT want some man fresh out of prison to try to create a selfish bond with my son.
Bio’s caseworker insists he’s clean and wants to be involved in Adam’s life. I said if he genuinely cared about my son, he’d leave well enough alone until my son was an adult. I don’t think being released from prison early is enough to merit him a relationship with Adam, and I will spend all of my money on lawyers to make sure it doesn’t happen.
The caseworker said I was an asshole for not giving a man a second chance at happiness, but I’m not disrupting my son’s life over this.
Let's find out.
walktobrook writes:
NTA. The case worker is biased in favor of bio dad. Suggest you speak with a psychologist on your son’s behalf who will likely recommend bio stay away until son is ready.
derailed8 writes:
I agree OP NTA because they are looking out for the welfare of their kid. I personally don't think he deserves to be around the kid if he hasn't reached out in the last 10 years. However, I do question at what age the kid should be made aware that their bio parents want to reach out to of them and what age they are mature enough to make that decision.
I feel like 13 might be old enough to make his own decision, but kids vary in maturity. I'd be concerned, if OP hid it from the kid and kid found out later it could lead to some type of resentment situation.