When this woman is fed up with her stepdaughter's grandparents, she asks Reddit:
I (31f) have been married to Dan (39m) for 7 years and have Nick together (4m). Dan has a daughter Mel (11f) who's mother passed away during childbirth. We met when Mel was 1.
Mels grandparents Tim and Kim (maternal) used to not be a part of our lives. They never supported my relationship with Dan. They told Mel I was trying to replace her, I didn't love her, and other comments.
Dan decided to go nc as he didn't like how they treated us in front of Mel and how Mel began replicating that behaviour. Last Christmas we all reconciled due to world events occurring.
During this time, Tim and Kim only brought presents for Mel and Dan. Me and my parents were also present and we both bought presents for them but it wasn't reciprocated. Nick noticed that his sister and dad got a present but he didn't.
I didn't like the behaviour and knew as he got older it'll become more apparent and I don't want him experiencing that. Me and Dan sat down with them to explain how we felt but they just acted surprised.
I suggested we lay down boundaries and how we'd like to approach any gift-giving holidays to be better prepared in the future. We agreed that for birthdays and Christmas' we'd give gifts to everyone and it was the thought that counted.
Throughout this year, Tim and Kim only bought gifts for Dan and Mels birthday. My birthday was in March and Nick was born in April but we didn't receive anything, not even a card.
Sent a text asking if everything was alright but they said they were busy and wished us a happy birthday. For Kim's birthday, my parents let them stay in their second home so they could go on vacation.
They took my parents up on that offer yet when my parents birthdays came up, they didn't receive a gift or text. At this stage we were all pretty frustrated and my parents felt like they were taken advantage of as Tim and Kim were only nice to them until after their holiday.
Last week Tim and Kim came to drop off presents for the kids as they had been exposed and wanted the presents with us in case they couldn't come over. They dropped off two boxes, both labelled Mel.
I texted assuming that they'd accidentally written Mels name twice and asked which was which but they told me both were for Mel. I asked where Nicks present was but they said they weren't giving him one, no explanation.
I was fuming so told Dan the situation before responding. We told them that we would not be giving Mel the presents from them unless Nick got one as it wasn't fair and we'd already agreed to gift everyone gifts.
They claimed that wasn't fair and we were showing favouritism, and how we could we withhold a gift from an innocent child. I then said that I'd rewrap it and claim it was from Santa.
They posted on facebook about how I was favouriting my child and punishing their grandchild for not reason, this was met with criticism directed towards me. AITA?
YTA for this instance. Nick isn't related to them at all. These are Mel's maternal grandparents.
Her mother died in childbirth and you are now trying to cut her off from the rest of her mother's family because you want them to pay the toll of buying presents for you, your son, and your parents.
That's unreasonable when their only family in your household is Mel.
The comments about replacement/etc were not acceptable but you did not mention those as having continued or being the issue right now - your issue is them not buying your entire family presents.
YTA. It isn't just expecting gifts for her son. She also is demanding they buy gifts and celebrate her own parent's birthdays.
They have zero relation to OP or her family, they're not even friends by the sound of it. It's already entitled to demand stuff for her son. Her family too? 100% the AH here.
These people have nothing to do with you, your son, or your family. They are Mel's grandparents, she's the only one they have and responsibly towards. Op, I say in the kindness way possible...stop inserting yourself into a relationship you have no place in.
With you on this I have a half brother and half sister we all have the same mom but different dads I never expected gifts from their grandparents or got any.
even from a young age I knew they werent related to me and its weird to me she is expecting this from them....they also sound like the kind of family that only gives gifts in the expectation they get them in return.
As long as they're now cordial with you, that's really all you can ask for.