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Woman refuses to put dying FIL in hospice, son says, 'not your dad, not your choice.'

Woman refuses to put dying FIL in hospice, son says, 'not your dad, not your choice.'


When this woman is at a crossroads when it comes to her FIL's death, she asks Reddit:

'AITA for keeping to my dying father in law's wishes?'

My father in law is 80, lost his wife less than 6 months ago and is readying to make the journey to the afterlife any day now. Almost 5 years ago (when their oldest son died) my in laws made 'death plans' similar to a birth plan that covered where, who was allowed to be present & what medical interventions were allowed. They also appointed me their healthcare surrogate (decision maker should they become mentally unable to speak for themselves.)

That time has come for the man I've thought of as dad for 27 years. This issue though is his surviving son (Seth) who keeps pushing this issue of putting his dad in a nursing home or hospice house. My last conversation with Seth devolved into me repeatedly telling him, 'I will NOT let your father die alone' his death plan includes him being at home (if possible) and for his dog to be with him & the original plan was his wife & me by his side.

His wife passed 6 months ago, so it's me by his side. I'm ok with that. I'm not exactly looking forward to that momemt, but know it is soon and know I promised to execute his plans. AITA for fighting a son's wishes to place his dying father in an institution to 'make things easier on myself' as Seth says?

Let's find out.

wynlydd writes:

NTA - Your post and other comments seem to indicate that you are quite understanding of what is going to be required of you. Kudos to you for accepting the task. Now if in fact it becomes an insurmountable, you tried to give a dying man, his last wish, at least you know you tried.

throwaway355 writes:

NTA You are honoring a dying man's wish. If the son will not honor the man's wish, that is the reason he was not put in charge. Let the man die with dignity. It will be a hard fight for you, but you will thank yourself for it when you come out on the other side of your grief. If he keeps getting pushy point out that his unwillingness to honor his father's wishes is the reason he doesn't have any legal power here. They took it away from him for a reason.

fluffykins67 writes:

NTA, Seth’s being a vulture and waiting for his father to die to get some sort of inheritance payout. Your FIL made his wishes clear and you seem to be the only person trying to do what’s right by him.

Looks like OP is NTA. Any advice for her going forward?

Sources: Reddit
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