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Usually the depressing international news stories in Time Magazine make us want to kill ourselves. Now they're just straight-up threating us with murder. Oh God, there's someone behind us with a samuri sword at this newsstand, isn't there? We always knew it would end this way. Well, if this is how we're going to go out, you'd better make that two King Size Snickers Bars, then. Unfortunately for Time, the full cover (pictured below) isn't really any more encouraging.

Sources: CollegeHumor