Powerfully delicious. (via)
Maureen Dowd's recent article about legalized weed began with the best of intentions. Because getting paid by the New York Times to fly to Colorado and eat pot chocolate in a four-star hotel is a fantastic idea. Also, because alerting people to the dangers of consuming powerful edibles without being careful is a worthy notion. I know people who smoke enough weed to sustain the average reggae band that have rendered themselves incapacitated by eating too much, too quickly.
In this case, Dowd made the classic mistake after eating pot chocolate, which is thinking that it's not working, then eating more without allowing enough time for it to kick in. She then compounded that mistake by detailing her experience with paragraphs like these:
"But then I felt a scary shudder go through my body and brain. I barely made it from the desk to the bed, where I lay curled up in a hallucinatory state for the next eight hours. I was thirsty but couldn’t move to get water. Or even turn off the lights. I was panting and paranoid, sure that when the room-service waiter knocked and I didn’t answer, he’d call the police and have me arrested for being unable to handle my candy.
I strained to remember where I was or even what I was wearing, touching my green corduroy jeans and staring at the exposed-brick wall. As my paranoia deepened, I became convinced that I had died and no one was telling me."
It sounds pretty frightening. It also sounded pretty funny to a lot of people on Twitter, which lead to a wave of tweets goofing on Maureen's journey into the heart of dark, pot chocolate:
Maureen Dowd offers up yet another reason why you wouldn't want to hang out with her.
— Josh Weinstein (@JElvisWeinstein) June 4, 2014
Breaking: Maureen Dowd sprains leg trying to simultaneously keep 10 hacky sacks in air at once.
— Warren Holstein (@WarrenHolstein) June 4, 2014
I hope Maureen Dowd does one about whip-its next.
— Jessie (@NicCageMatch) June 4, 2014
Maureen Dowd got so high cartoons in The New Yorker started making sense.
— Rex Huppke (@RexHuppke) June 4, 2014
The implication here is that Maureen Dowd was stone cold sober when she wrote all the other stuff, which is terrifying.
— Ken Lowery (@kenlowery) June 4, 2014
Maureen Dowd, takes the dangerous assignments of reporting from the Denver Four Seasons' Executive Suite.
— Bob Schooley (@Rschooley) June 4, 2014
If you thought that David Brooks column about trying pot was embarrassing, get a load of this Maureen Dowd piece http://t.co/AxmIrYeLky
— Salon.com (@Salon) June 4, 2014
Anyone who smokes weed or messes around with edibles can be counted on for at least one embarrassing story about having their ass kicked sideways. But when Salon.com starts busting your balls, it's a sign that you should probably stick to chardonnay.
(by Jonathan Corbett)