Hope this surgeon was better at surgery than scanning things.
A patient handed this letter to his doctor before going into surgery, under the naive assumption that any red-blooded American surgeon would take the time to listen to his pansy patient's requests. Sure, surgeons will tolerate a patient with a sense of humor. Because soon that patient will be anesthetized and unable to speak or move or react to them getting wasted and drawing penises on the patient's femur. So get it all out now, patient, because you sure as hell won't be able to complain or ask for favors like retaining all your appendages once you've gone under.